Wednesday, January 10, 2007

One More Sports Rant

Three things here.

1. The Gatorade-dump on the coach is played out. Seriously guys, can we be done with this? Unless i'm mistaken the whole thing started with the Giants winning the Super Bowl in the late 80's with Bill Parcells. After the 06-07 Bowl season, I even saw multiple dump attempts in the same game. Also, you run a high embarrassment risk if you dump on the coach when the game looks like it's in the bag...then the team comes back with a last minute win a la Boise State over OU. If you wanna make your coach proud, try not getting arrested. But if you're gonna try and be cute for the cameras, let's try and be a little more creative, if not more funny in our pranks on the coach:

-Why not have that third string quarterback sneak up behind coach on all fours, then have the offensive line coach give him the ol' shove? COMEDIC GOLD!
-Pass out those headsets the staff wears to everybody on the team, who then does their best coach impression.
-Howabout introducing the victory wedgie?

I'm just throwin those out there. You don't like em', throw em' right back. I'll try to stop using 'em' now.

2. Joakim Noah, give the screaming a rest man. If you're that intense about every play it just loses it's effectiveness. Last night you missed a dunk, got your own rebound (which was impressive), but then dished to your teamate who then scored. Rather than being modest on account of missing a jam, you still gave us your primal rage routine. Save it for the tourney.

3. The advertisements in sports are getting ridiculous. You can't even watch Sportscenter inbetween the massive amount of commercials without getting some in-program product promotion. Ugh! The Budweiser HotSeat, the Coors Light Silver Spotlight, the Burger King King of the night, it's like a live action Nascar hood. Does anyone watching ESPN need to be informed what brands of beer are available? I'm not even going to address all the erectile dysfunction commercials, which are bordering on obscene (I don't want to hear the word erection on TV, especially while watching a game with the fam).
But at least Sportscenter is consistant. Here in St. Louis the Blues now play in the Scott Trade Center, formerly known as the Saavis Center, ever more formerly known as the Kiel Center. Geez. Nobody around here knows what to call it. So this got me thinking, what if instead of capital campaigns in our congregation we just sold exclusive name rights to our buildings? Imagine: The Doritos Pulpit, the Kentucky Fried Chicken Early Childhood Center (KFC ECC), the Papa Johns Youth Night, the possibilities are endless!

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