Friday, May 23, 2008

An Open Letter to George Lucas

Dear Mr. Lucas,

You have given us two unbelievably wonderful film franchises. Indeed, Indiana Jones and Star Wars are part of the fabric of western civilization. I fondly recall re-enacting the scenes while I watched Star Wars as a child; in particular in The Empire Strikes Back where Luke is captured by that big fuzzy snow monster. I would hang off of my couch upside down and stretch out for my light saber/flashlight. For whatever reason McDonalds sold The Temple of Doom on VHS circa 1992. I watched it so much the tape wore out, and I still do a pretty good scary-horned-heart-ripper out-guy impression.

But George, the time has come for you to stop making films. Its getting ridiculous. You are ruining your legacy with the garbage screenplays you are putting out. I fear that the steps forward of CGI technology has actually made your movies take many, many steps back. In the 70's and 80's, you pioneered special effects techniques to make what was going on in your head appear on screen. Now, with lush CGI your unbridled imagination has given us Jar-Jar-Binks and Indiana Jones son swinging vine to vine with a pack of benevolent primates.

Your movies have devolved. Great films in the pantheon of cinema have been disgraced. Lucasfilm is now akin to a guy at a party still trying to squeeze a couple more laughs out of old beer commercial bits.

The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the last straw. I really, really, really wanted to like this movie. In fact, I thought there was almost no way I wouldn't like it. Well, there was. I won't spoil it for everyone who hasn't seen it. But suffice it to say: Save your money and go see Iron Man again. So Mr. Lucas, I urge you to have some decency and stop making movies.

Did I call this one or what??? Say it ain't so George, say it ain't so.

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