Wednesday, February 22, 2006

$5.50 Bin Pt. 1

I'm in an expository writing class here at Central Methodist University. Our latest paper assignment is over "Writing about places." We are to write an approximately 4-5 page paper describing a place. So, this is part of my rough draft. I thought you guys might enjoy it. Some of this is tounge in cheek, but i'm pretty much serious. So, here it is, my ode' to the $5.50 bin....

Humans are simple creatures. At our core there are sentiments that we as a species crave, among them: adventure, passion, the thrill of the hunt, and a good bargain. There is a place where one can find what we as people have been seeking since the beginning of history, a place where you can forge your own destiny, a place where legends are made, an escape from the ramped inflation of modern society, a place where nostalgia and value collide, an oasis to the likes of Van Damme and Seagall, a place called the $5.50 bin at Wal-Mart.
Imagine if you will your last trip to the worldwide mega-monstrosity, most people dread going. It’s as if Wal-Mart is a Mecca for the socially challenged. On a Saturday the parking lot is gridlock, there’s thirty check-out lines however only a third of those are in use, and there’s nothing more ironic than seeing the back of a blue “Hi! How Can I Help you!?” vest speeding away from you as you blurt out your question concerning the location of dish detergent trying in vain to overcome the deafening crashing carts and blaring babies. If there’s a full moon outside you better bring a camera. But amidst the disorganized aisles and dysfunctional clientele lies paradise. The $5.50 bin is not just a place, it’s an experience.

The $5.50 bin is serves as a clearinghouse of sorts for DVD’s of highly varying quality. At first glance one might see merely a black cage housing an orgy of DVD’s with no real discernable method of organization. It’s a free for all in there. The encasement comes up to about waist height: tall enough to prevent small children or animals by being swallowed up by the bin, but also restrive enough to prevent full grown adults from being able to easily reach to the bottom. Due to crafty corporate marketing and strategic placement the $5.50 bin is usually accompanied by a clearance candy bin. Don’t be deceived, the candy is 88cents not the DVD’s. Once you have identified the proper position and purpose of the $5.50 bin, you are ready to delve into all that is the $5.50 bin and start reaping the benefits for yourself and those around you.

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