Wednesday, February 22, 2006

$5.50 Bin Pt. 6

Ok, here's the last of it. I got so excited I finished it today. Call me a dork if you want, but i'm actually getting college credit for this...

Having seen the superhuman consequences the $5.50 bin can evoke, it is appropriate to discuss proper $5.50 etiquette and some precautions one should be made aware of. When there are several shoppers simultaneously plowing through the $5.50 bin it should be duly noted the rule of “You grab it, you gettin’ it”. . Due to the wild even arbitrary nature of the $5.50 bin there could only be one copy in the entire kingdom. In the chaos of DVD hunting occasionally (and unfortunately) two shoppers may grab for the same prey, in which case whoever can snatch up the desired movie first claims the initial buying rights. Thus, “You grab it, you gettin’ it.”

While perusing the $5.50 bin it is important to keep others in mind. Suppose you see a movie that you yourself don’t particularly care for, but a friend/roommate/sibling of yours is quite outspoken of their desire for this certain movie. What could be worse than next time you see them explaining how you held their beloved film in your hands, and yet having $5.50 in your possession still let it go?

If while thumbing through the masses of DVD’s you discover a sequel to a movie already in your possession, it is your duty to purchase the movie even if you don’t have an exceeding desire to view it at that particular time. You owe it to $5.50 shoppers everywhere to proudly display your new complete set in your DVD library to help spread the good news of the $5.50 bin to the naysayers and movie-snobs.

Perhaps the most important $5.50 rule is the respect of fellow $5.50 shoppers. Be mindful of where you discard unwanted DVD’s in the bin. A method of stacking is preferable and tossing them carelessly into the path of another $5.50 shopper is abominable. Committing this heinous act could prove costly if one happens to impose upon the aforementioned determined/fanatical shopper.

While etiquette is highly appreciated one must also be on guard to the pitfalls of the $5.50 bin, both economic and social. As it is with drinking, gambling, CSI marathons, and all you can eat-buffets; one needs to be aware of one’s limits. Be cognizant of ‘impulse buys’ for these cheapen the true joy of a $5.50 purchase. Don’t simply amass a giant DVD collection to puff up your pride for that is a gross perversion of a rare gift in retail. If while shopping at the $5.50 bin you are teetering on a purchase simply place the DVD in question at the bottom of the bin, or hide it behind a row of more expensive (but not very popular) DVD’s where it can be safely purchased upon a later and better informed decision. In fighting off the temptation of unwarranted $5.50 purchases you are preserving the spirit of the $5.50 bin so that others may partake in the $5.50 bin experience.

The $5.50 bin is one of America’s best kept secrets. You could argue a case for ebay or garage sales as the DVD’s true land of opportunity, but both of those venues lack the intricacies of the $5.50 bin. Everyone loves movies and everyone loves saving money. The true $5.50 master is like an old prospector panning for gold. The $5.50 bin is so much more than just a cage full of discs full of images, it’s full of the human spirit. Amen.


Anonymous said...

Adam, it was great to see you and Sarah this afternoon, and expecially good to know that not only have you now experienced the Moberly $5.50 Bin, but you found a treasure for even less than $5.50.
Let us know what your professor thinks of your essay.
The Other Mustoes

The Millers-Because we like it Original! said...

Oh brother! I may point out that after reading you latest posts, I was interested in your journey, so I started at the beginning. And this essay/paper/novel of the mecca that is the 5.50 bin is most accurate-even down to the dialating pupils of the fanatic! Do you mind if I print this out and show it to my music pastor? He'd get a kick out of this.